The Big Moment

Yarrr!

One thing that I've wanted to talk about here are mental health issues, but I can't seem to figure out how to tackle it.  Part of the reason is because I stopped taking my medication about a month ago.  It was hard at first, but I've been feeling a lot better.  I've been struggling with just getting things done, including writing.

So, right now I'm taking everything a day at a time, doing the minimum cleaning that needs to be done, feeding my family and playing with my kids.  It seems so stupid that even doing those things can be so hard, but for me they are.

I'm always waiting for a Big Moment where I'll suddenly be free of everything I need to do and motivated enough to sit down and make a plan for the future.  That will never happen.  I know I need to put everything aside and make my plan, but something is always holding me back.

I've lost my coherent train of thought again and am getting tired, so I guess that will be my note for now.  Maybe a wake up call to decide when my Big Moment will be, instead of waiting for it.

How could a mother...?

I wrote this last night, but couldn't get my words right to finish it.  I'm still not sure what those words are, because I can't wrap my mind around how someone could act the way Kitty's mother does.

I really don't understand it.  How could a mother just... BE the way she is?

Kitty went back to her mom's this morning.  Murl talked to her on the phone and she spent the day playing video games.  Her mother hasn't seen her in over two weeks; you'd think they'd spend some time together!

CPS is involved now because of alleged abuse and neglect.  Kitty's brothers are violent to her and other kids.  The house is apparently full of cat feces.  Her (second!) parole officer is the one who had her arrested for alleged drug use and theft.

I'm watching Wolfie sleeping in his swing (he wouldn't go to bed!) and I can't imagine what must go through her head.  How could you let your sons get as out of control as they are?  How can you steal money and pills from your own mother and neighbors?  How can you not put your kids ahead of your wants/needs?

I understand she's got an addiction.  She needs help, but she obviously hasn't been motivated enough to get it.  For her kid's sake, I really hope this helps, otherwise she might not have her kids anymore.

Just before she left.

Back to court

(I would like to own this picture.)

We've been waiting for Kitty's mother to screw up and we found out today that she did.

Last Wednesday.

No one bothered to tell us.  Our lawyer got an anonymous call today.  Which means we dropped Kitty off on Sunday and her mother hasn't even been home.

So, Murl drove up to pick up Kitty, who is with us now.  Her mother called to say she was released and arrange a time to pick her up tomorrow.  Unfortunately, we'll have to give her back.  But, we're filing to go back to court and this time we'll have some more fuel.

We don't know why she was arrested this time, but its probably drug related.  I can't find any information online, so I guess there's not a newspaper there that publishes these things.  I'm not sure.  I did, however, find an old mugshot of hers, which is hilarious!

Its another waiting game.  I'm hoping this all gets sorted out before school starts!